Different people react differently when they get sick. Some are overly dramatic misery-alists (yes, I made that up, its like moralist+misery), where they pontificate on the evils of their condition while bemoaning the sad state of the society that allows them to be sick. Some tough it out and just get angry at the world. Some really do not get sick (I hate them, by the way, with the fire of a thousand suns, to quote "10 Things I Hate About You"). Me, I get introspective and moody. In short, miserable. Misery. The art of being despondent. You know, Mr. Buckets of Fun.
Of course, this all means my family has to cope with my delusions of morbidity. It also means I get to fail in many ways I promised I never would. For example, as I type this, my oldest son is watching "The Fox and the Hound", after he watched a few episodes of Curious George. Why? Well, because I don't have the energy to keep up with him. Furthermore, the other one needs a nap, meaning I have to have something to keep #1 busy (by the way, to anyone who has ever felt judged by me in the way you have raised your kids, I'm really trying to stop that mess. And consider this my blanket apology forever on the topic, because raising kids could be compared to successful medieval alchemy, ain't nobody got a formula) while I get #2 down for a nap. And don't go all "Well, if you were a prepared parent...", as #2 was Mr. Snotty-Screamy Face until 3 AM.
As a SAHP, what does that mean? Did I fail my kids today? Am I a bad parent? Do I need a time out (please, can I get a time out)? I'll let you know after my sinuses stop running like a faucet, take care of lunch and dinner, teach my class tonight at the local Community College, and try to get some sleep tonight with the sick child snotting all over the place and screaming in misery. And you know what? I still don't have a right to be Mr. Miserable. Why? Did you miss the part where I'm a SAHD?
It is a cycle, I will get better, and I will return to my normal Mr. Buckets of Fun status. My family will remain good even while I'm on misery hiatus. I will drink enough tea to re-enact the Boston Tea Party. And I will share with you, hoping that someone else out there will realize that the trick is not giving up, rather than the perfectionist getting it right the first time. Speaking from experience as a former high school teacher, modeling that particular lesson may be one of the most important things you ever do for your children.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
It seems best to go with one of our favorite story makers and time takers to start: The Birds. For any SAHDs out there that find this blog and want some ideas for easy learning, read on. For anyone out there that wonders how on earth I keep two young boys interested in birds, read on. For anyone who happens to be up too late with insomnia, read on, it might put you to sleep.
Family gave us both our feeders, that information lays the foundation. It seems that the process of raising family stems from the family, positive or negative. Leaving Freud alone, much needs to be realized about the blending of two perspectives into a family, but you can read that in your own self-help books.
We have two feeders, one is a seed feeder, and one is a suet feeder.For those not in the know, these will attract different types of birds to some extent. For example, Cardinals will not go to a suet feeder and they predominantly eat seeds (at least they will not go to our suet feeders). Every other bird we see will go to both. Suet is just fat, unless you buy the fancy kind with the seeds in it. Amazon holds a lot of my personal business, but you can also get suet from Home Depot, Lowes, and most any local hardware stores (Ace Hardware tends to have some funkier, more specific ones than other places), or if you have a local nursery like our AB Seed (speaking of AB Seed, they also provided us with the stuff to help keep the squirrels out of our seed feeder, but if you can also just sprinkle some cayenne pepper on the lip if you want). If you just want some cheap suet, you can try a local butcher shop, they may give you beef fat for free, then you just need the feeder.
Now, beyond the "how-to" stuff, if you have read anything on my #SAHD posts on Facebook, the part where Teague runs from the kitchen to the now piano/clothes drying/learning center room yelling, "BUUUUHHHHHD!!!!" is old news to you. However, the start of this whole process happened when visiting my parents. My boys showed a natural fascination with birds, especially the pileated woodpecker that wrapped itself around their small suet feeder. So we have a bird book, we identify birds we have not previously seen (like the Ruby Crowned Kinglet ), and my boys want to know more (this also concerns me because as I told my wife, there's a reason we never did an ornithology class in middle or high school. The birds we have seen at our feeder so far include the Whitebreasted Nuthatch and the Tufted Titmouse, these do not lend to non-giggling focus in boys ages 12+. Hopefully learning them early will get them over the silliness). This shows no reflection on my parenting other than capitalizing on a teachable moment (which, technically, my parents did, not me).
And perhaps, therein lies the pith of this post: my parents' experience with 5 kids and 8 grand kids (with at least one more on the way). That does not claim my parents as perfect, but how often do we miss these teachable moments? Birds are a vehicle for my boys to learn, and something I have always wanted to know more about as well. We have yet to even start on bird songs (which, by the way, WhatBird.com does a great job with for free in addition to bird identification). As a parent, what simple things do we pass up because we just do not pay attention due to our self-centered bias and impatience? And in this case, if we take the time to ask of others, could we preemptively prepare to make happen? My children do not inhabit the house of bird-curiosity alone. By the same token, not everyone is an ornithological nerd, and that's fine. However, if your kids show an interest, take the easy road paved by others. Then, you too can have your children flock to a window to scare away the birds they know by name.
Which leads me to my final thought, the one I daily forget, but should start each day with: I am not the first person on this road. I am not unique in my parenting struggles. I may have unique children, but there is nothing new under the sun. I alone am not left to struggle. Someone has gone before me, and whether or not you hear/agree with the Biblical overtones in those sentences, it holds true because of the extent of the human experience. It may take a village to raise a child, but it took a village to raise the parents of that child...a village those same parents often forget about in their parenting pity parties instead of using the cheap resources that surround them.
Family gave us both our feeders, that information lays the foundation. It seems that the process of raising family stems from the family, positive or negative. Leaving Freud alone, much needs to be realized about the blending of two perspectives into a family, but you can read that in your own self-help books.
We have two feeders, one is a seed feeder, and one is a suet feeder.For those not in the know, these will attract different types of birds to some extent. For example, Cardinals will not go to a suet feeder and they predominantly eat seeds (at least they will not go to our suet feeders). Every other bird we see will go to both. Suet is just fat, unless you buy the fancy kind with the seeds in it. Amazon holds a lot of my personal business, but you can also get suet from Home Depot, Lowes, and most any local hardware stores (Ace Hardware tends to have some funkier, more specific ones than other places), or if you have a local nursery like our AB Seed (speaking of AB Seed, they also provided us with the stuff to help keep the squirrels out of our seed feeder, but if you can also just sprinkle some cayenne pepper on the lip if you want). If you just want some cheap suet, you can try a local butcher shop, they may give you beef fat for free, then you just need the feeder.
Now, beyond the "how-to" stuff, if you have read anything on my #SAHD posts on Facebook, the part where Teague runs from the kitchen to the now piano/clothes drying/learning center room yelling, "BUUUUHHHHHD!!!!" is old news to you. However, the start of this whole process happened when visiting my parents. My boys showed a natural fascination with birds, especially the pileated woodpecker that wrapped itself around their small suet feeder. So we have a bird book, we identify birds we have not previously seen (like the Ruby Crowned Kinglet ), and my boys want to know more (this also concerns me because as I told my wife, there's a reason we never did an ornithology class in middle or high school. The birds we have seen at our feeder so far include the Whitebreasted Nuthatch and the Tufted Titmouse, these do not lend to non-giggling focus in boys ages 12+. Hopefully learning them early will get them over the silliness). This shows no reflection on my parenting other than capitalizing on a teachable moment (which, technically, my parents did, not me).
And perhaps, therein lies the pith of this post: my parents' experience with 5 kids and 8 grand kids (with at least one more on the way). That does not claim my parents as perfect, but how often do we miss these teachable moments? Birds are a vehicle for my boys to learn, and something I have always wanted to know more about as well. We have yet to even start on bird songs (which, by the way, WhatBird.com does a great job with for free in addition to bird identification). As a parent, what simple things do we pass up because we just do not pay attention due to our self-centered bias and impatience? And in this case, if we take the time to ask of others, could we preemptively prepare to make happen? My children do not inhabit the house of bird-curiosity alone. By the same token, not everyone is an ornithological nerd, and that's fine. However, if your kids show an interest, take the easy road paved by others. Then, you too can have your children flock to a window to scare away the birds they know by name.
Which leads me to my final thought, the one I daily forget, but should start each day with: I am not the first person on this road. I am not unique in my parenting struggles. I may have unique children, but there is nothing new under the sun. I alone am not left to struggle. Someone has gone before me, and whether or not you hear/agree with the Biblical overtones in those sentences, it holds true because of the extent of the human experience. It may take a village to raise a child, but it took a village to raise the parents of that child...a village those same parents often forget about in their parenting pity parties instead of using the cheap resources that surround them.
So, I have threatened to do this, so I'll just do it. After all, there's only 200k of us (read the article linked in this post), my Blog Title is still available (well, not anymore, its mine :), and I saw this article today that I figured would be a good kick-off (and with the Super Bowl Sunday, why not kick off something?).
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/nightline-fix-abc-news/being-mr-mom-stay-home-dads-tough-full-154633088.html?vp=1
Look for more info from me in the future, and for my #SAHD posts to end up here. Now to figure out how to hashtag into a Blog and make it work. So much to learn.
#SAHDReality
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/nightline-fix-abc-news/being-mr-mom-stay-home-dads-tough-full-154633088.html?vp=1
Look for more info from me in the future, and for my #SAHD posts to end up here. Now to figure out how to hashtag into a Blog and make it work. So much to learn.
#SAHDReality
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